I was just saying to D yesterday that I can’t believe it is 2013. I mean, when I was a little kid, I couldn’t even imagine living this long; but then again I thought 24 was old when I was 10. I don’t know what that makes me now! AH!
And just as every day is filled with new mercies, each year is filled with new possibilities and dreams. “Maybe this will be the year…” type thinking that causes just about everyone to set goals, resolve to do great things, and be better. If only I could start each day with that enthusiasm. But somewhere along January 15th, I am usually thinking I am behind on all the wonderful things I had planned for the year.
January 1st 2012 I sat down and wrote up a list of things I would like to get done around the house and I started dreaming of how I would do this blog. I was just getting used to being the mother of a baby and was thinking I had gotten into the swing of things. I was planning on becoming the cook and baker I was before baby came along, spring cleaning (is there any other kind), and being the best mother I could possibly be. I was also planning to read an immense amount of books and do lots and lots of Bible study.
Along about the beginning of February we had a surprising bit of news that set almost all of these goals and hopes and dreams on the back burner for a little bit. It was wonderful: we were expecting our second child! Oh, how exciting! D and I had grand plans of how we were going to tell our parents about this wonderful new addition to our family. Still, I was hanging in there with the exhaustion pregnancy brings my way.
I was on my way to teach Bible study one Tuesday morning just after we had found out about our little one when I started to have some serious bleeding and cramping. This, of course, was troubling to me so I got to Bible study and asked a friend to look after G for a little bit while I ran home to get something. I called D immediately after I got in the car and he recommended I call the doctor. I set up an appointment and after teaching went over to get things checked out. This was a day filled with many tears that would stretch into a week of uncertainty as we had very little hope that we would meet this little one of ours. I went to get my blood tested every couple of days and tried not to panic each time I started to bleed. God was in control and I knew His will was perfect for us and for baby, but I was almost too scared to seek Him.
As we waited in the ultrasound room at our doctor’s office the next Monday, I had no idea what to expect. D had already started to distance himself from any sort of hope as a way of coping (understandably so), but I was really trying to hang on by a thread. The thing that kept coming to mind was that God had not promised me any number of healthy babies. He was perfectly within His rights as a loving Father and sovereign God to do with my children and my body as He saw fit and it was all for good. And then…
A baby with a perfectly beating heart, tiny as anything! Oh, what a miracle!
We were blown away by God’s kindness and goodness to us!
And eight months later (2 of them on bedrest), God blessed us again with a baby to hold, to care for, to love, to protect (the way He has us). Oh, what a year 2012 was! Our youngest, Autumn Wren was born on October 11th and has been a joy and a blessing to us every day since. She has grown from that tiny little beating heart into a chubby, happy baby.
And so, as I contemplate the coming year I am reminded that I have no idea of what God has in store for us this year. I can do all the planning and preparing I want to but I am reminded by Proverbs 16:9 “the mind of man plans his ways, but the LORD directs his steps.” The covenant keeping God is in charge of my new year and considering 2012, that is just the way I like it.
Happy New Year and may God surprise you this year as He reveals more of His covenant character to you! Blessings! -L
This Post Has One Comment
crying as I read this, remembering all my prayers for God’s will to please give us a miracle baby. And He did!! Leah, like you, I knew He would do what was right and best, but I have to confess, I prayed my will would be His on this one. Mamas never want to see their children suffer and the thought of you and Drew suffering led my prayers. Iwanted you safe – and oh, how we wanted this little one. Autumn Wren, a wonderful, precious bundle of joy. Her smiles make us smile and I’m sure her cooing and gooing are telling us awesome stories. We love you all so much and thank our Father for watching over you and Wren to bring us these happy days. Watching Gracie with her sister is such a treat – so many kisses and hugs without a hint of jealousy – another blessing. Thank You, Lord, for the gift of being the grandparents to these girls.